Saturday, January 05, 2008
I now have shoes with the multicolored months of the year on them.
The smiles they bring me are totally worth the approximately 5.5 year deduction to my age.
Friday, January 04, 2008
I recently had coffee with an old friend (well, not an "old" friend, but a high school friend), and we got into a conversation about "glue people." We were talking about social circles that gradually disintegrate a little and why that might happen. He was talking about how when a central person in the group goes away, the circles not quite a circle anymore. More like a curved line. (Ok, so the geometric analogy is mine.)
I think the quality "glue people" tend to share is that they are excellent at deflecting conflict. No one ever has a problem with them. They're good at keeping negative emotions from rising; they're good at deescalating things. And generally they are dependable--good listeners, they don't do anything wildly unpredictable that leaves all their friends going "Huh ... ?"
Anyway, sometimes I wish I were a glue person. It seems like it would be a nice thing to be. Not because I have a desire to be at the center of things or anything (and I don't think glue people think they are, or would really like to be either), but because I like communities. I like the idea of people sticking together and forming a dynamic as a group that they don't have as individuals or as pairs. I know a lot of people who seem to find community wherever they go, but this has never been a real talent of mine. I think instead I end up with this nostalgic feeling for communities I once had, and I keep chasing around the people who were part of that special thing. But, of course, it's not quite the same.
Anyway, I like glue people. I like that they exist, and I tip my hat to that effortless quality of graciousness they float around with, while I stumble through this whole relational thing like an elephant who's quite a bit more confused than she needs to be.